Fly free magic jet pack people, fly free!

As a man of German and Eastern European descent, shaving has been a reality since the ripe age of about thirteen. The adolescent shards of stache that so promptly dotted my upper lip and cheeks weren't however met with celebration, as if it were some non-secular signifier of becoming a man, instead, it became a tedious activity of removal that I now must endure on a bi-weekly basis, yes as a young boy, I came to see that shaving was a royal pain in the ass.

Had I seen the Edge commercial, I may have felt differently. In all of my ignorance and ineptitude, it took me all of twenty-two years to finally learn the truth; that shaving elixir I had been putting on my face all of these years, which I callously mistakened for shaving cream, is actually a small utopia of scantily clad women partying and spraying the elements of said cream. And that intoxicating scent, oh the smell of demigocic masculine musk that all this time I thought was a by-product of Aloe and male marketing, it turns out to again, be women with jet packs, assaulting my olfactory senses through their raw sexuality and utter deliciousness.

Now this ad is not without faults, in fact, it brings up some disconcerting and frankly downright disturbing questions.

The ad depicts the products use on the face, now as I have previously mentioned, I am of German and Eastern European descent, an needless to say, my mustache wasn't the only hair growing in my early teen years. Spring cleaning, dusting for cobwebs, trimming the hedges, shaving some pubes, whatever euphemism you use, one thing is for sure, that cream isn't just for the face. Without preface or qualification, this product seems to have consequences of non-facial applications, particularly, the disconcerting tickle that having magic women dancing in your more private areas, or worse, a mis-guided jet pack journey ending in a tragic cathartic result.

What's more, I am disturbed by the work ethic of the female cream appliers; with the exorbitant price of commodities, the waste produced by the women shooting eachother with each ingredient ostensibly jacks up the price to an unneccesarry level. I'm sure this is a concern of most viewers, and that it will be addressed in corporate policy and training.

I also can't help asking myself, why do such attractive, tiny women find work applying face cream? They didn't appear to be intellectually handicapped, nor did they appear to be overtly lazy or cynical.

Finally, the last question I posed to myself was, is there a converse for women's shaving products, ie. are men employed to apply cream in women's shave gels/foams? Also, is there any crossover? I'm not sure how I feel about shaving my more delicate parts knowing that tiny women (and possibly men depending on the availability of workers) have full panoramic view of my junk. I also wonder how consumers would react to knowing that tiny women and/or men are running around their shaven parts, as the average consumer doesn't dig as deep as we here at GINA.